Lets just say that Big Mikey did a better job with the New York Marathon results. Most importantly, we are starting a kickstarter to buy "jimmyt0225" -- yes, that means you, Traina -- a new Flatscreen TV. At the very least, the dude needs a YouTube photo.
|
|
As the always poetic Milhouse once eloquently stated, so this is what it feels like ... when doves cry.
|
|
Mike Francesa saying "ya' got Gronk'd, as she said, the girls get Gronk'd ... everyone in New England gets Gronk'd" is the equivolent of your grandfather asking you if you're getting Crunk tonight. Either ratings are slipping at WFAN or Francesa was unusually horny. Not sure we want the definitive answer to that one.
|
|
Before I get into this, it's important to emphatically note that Kars-4-Kids is a fantastic, well-intended charity with incredibly nice people who have accepted our exhausting criticism with a smile. Having said that, none of those wonderful snippets of warmth will ever be able to change the fact that their anthem is a mystifyingly shitty insult to not only music, but sound in general. Even the most reasonable of humans surrender to this jarring fact of life about three seconds in. Amazingly enough, as I type this screed, the original theme song has just begun playing on WFAN and forced me to temporarily abort this passage to save my ears from a vicious self-stoning.
Now as you may or may not recall, we made an inspiring plea to WFAN back in July of 2008 regarding this hellacious jingle that plays incessantly throughout your work day. Three long years later, not a whole lot has changed. Until now.
The lethargic folks at Kars-4-Kids have finally gone back to the lab for a 2011 remix, which thankfully means the original one will soon be extinct. The bad news? The new ballad makes me want to push my eyeballs directly through the back of my head with the end of a handy lacrosse stick.
But to be fair, as always, I asked for additional feedback from fellow Hernia founder Gerrard Sir Hornypants. After roughly three minutes of prodding the musical elitist to listen to it, I finally received the following "feedback" via iChat:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(HEAD JUST IMPLODED)
Is this the same band that did the Francesa jingle?
HOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
And here's the delightful Dave Lozo from NHL.com:
That jingle hurts. It's offensive, disgusting and sickening.
Yup, thanks for nothing but heartache. Again.
To be completely fair, the little kid does an admirable job (because he's a kid), but the backup singer needs to be shot out of a cannon instantaneously.
*****
Follow us on Twitter at @TheSportsHernia
|
|
We've listened to this unintentionally hilarious interview multiple times. Our conclusion? Mike Francesa's obsession with the Revis-Marshall clip stems from the fact that his favorite play in all of football is when one player gives another player "the business."
[via The Big Lead]
|
|
We're almost positive Mike Francesa recently took in Abbott and Costello's storied "Who's On First" skit for the very first time. Adorable.
If you've ever wondered how Mikey fills five and a half hours of sports radio each and every weekday, this minute of confusing repetition is the perfect snippet to summarize the experience.
[via @JimmyTraina]
|
|
We applaud our fearless leader Tim Ryan for calling into 'Miked Up' earlier today and giving Miguel Francesa a little bit of shit for his ball washing of Joe Torre over the whole 'Unanimity' thing, which has yet to make sense. We never would have expected MLB to bend any rules -- we totally bought the fact that Chris Gaines err... Garth Brooks was worthy of a look back in 1999, and the fact that the Diamondacks wore their retro crap for two extra games -- but yes, homage to the dead is routinely outweighed by the unmanageable, explosive teet that is Bird Selig's pulsating nipple.
What was a bit baffling, however, was the manner in which Mikey "Pepperoni Pancakes" Francesa brushed off such a glowing compliment in the form of an audible snarf, though we do salute Tim for introducing radio land to the term 'Para Shit Trooper'.
Snarf on and prosper Mike... you fat, capped teeth fuck. Though, we still love your show. As well as your tits.
|
|
It's summertime in the city which means prank callers are invading the WFAN phone lines with more fueled determination than Tim Kurkjian at Le Trapeze.
|
|
The description in the above video mentions chili, but no one eats chili with a plastic pink spoon. It was definitely a midday ice cream fix for Mike Francesa, "New Yawk's numbah one."
While we were typing this post, an insistent Francesa phoned us and delivered a bold message, saying "wait a second, wai-wai-wait a second, it wasn't ice cweam! It was fwozen yo-gut!"
We try to be as fair as possible here, but big Mikey was clearly trying to conceal the chocolaty goodness. If it were in fact frozen yogurt, he wouldn't have tried to disguise it in the same shameful manner he hides his boobies when sunbathing at the beach.
[via Bob's Blitz]
|
|
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
We sincerely wish more grown adults would argue like this, especially about a baseball manager's decision to use his closer.
On a semi-related note, when Mike Francesa gets really angry, vengeful pepperoni slices fire out of his nipples.
|
|
