The Sports Hernia Blog

Pro Bowler Pete Weber seriously exists

As the baffled sheriff in The Goonies once aptly stated, "Holy Mary, mother of god ... Look at that. 

The sizzling strike by Pete Weber quite obviously just shed every single wedgie he ever received.  That's a full day.

[via TheBigLead]

Yay Heat!

 

This guy is really excited about the Miami Heat.  He is also clearly still 'Fanning Up' from the team's sweet, and in no way embarrassing, new entrance video.

Seahawks fan unveils greatest worst sign ever

The presence of an official Riddell team helmet along with the facial expresssion pretty much says it all.  Even he can't believe this actually happened. 

We do find ourselves a little disappointed that the deflated looking fella didn't opt for "M-ost N-oisy F-ans In the History of Ever" as opposed to limiting Seattle's overwhelming noisy-ness to just the NFL.  "I. Give. Up." would have also worked quite nicely.

[Via Yahoo via Jay Drowns/Getty Images]

Report: This fan exists

It's not so much the mustache here, it's the hat.  That ridiculous hat.  Even the Jaguar can't believe this shit.  Look at his left eye.  Completely mortified.

Report: These fans exist

For countless years we've often wondered what the elusive star-on-top would be in order to put the finishing touches on the "ultimate sports babe."  But now, as you can plainly see, none us have to suffer any longer as the Seahawks dazzling logo draped across the nose and cheeks of a possibly inebriated female is downright orgasmic.

On a semi-related note, seated at right in the photo is reportedly actor William H. Macy.

[Via @AFed69]

Report: This fan (or is it fans?) exist

Do you realize the monumental effort that goes into looking like such an elaborate jackass?  Someone actually sat down and took the time to meticulously affix that little skull -- perhaps the official term is "sidecar skull" -- and other impressive pieces of flair to their custom Raiders jersey, of which already featured permanently installed shoulder pads.  All of that for the sole purpose of acting like a formerly imprisoned ape fueled by the consumption of their own piss. 

Applause?  Applause.

[Photo via Yahoo via Doug Pensinger/Getty Images]

Report: This man exists

This is either true passion, true stupidity, true virginity, or all of the above.

[via SF Gate]

Pittsburgh man commits to a life of celibacy

Among the things we'd prefer to do before ever shaving a professional sports team's logo, accompanying proper colors and all, into our head:

- Fight Drogo

- Do a cannonball into a McDonald's deep-fryer

- Drink a vodka-Ajax

- Aggressively chew on items in the Lost & Found bin

- Drive a bus directly into the Hudson River

- Conduct our daily lives like the Japanese Howard Cosell

- Watch "The View"

- Wear a jersey & tuck into our cargo shorts

Report: All of these fans exist

It goes without saying that we will greatly miss el pigskin if there's no NFL season in 2011, but there's no doubt we will stay the course and continue moving forward with a hop in our step equal to the giddy-up Kramer once displayed when a magical top hat turned him into a pimp.  But for the sake of these dudes, and these gents, please end this strike before they start sodomizing Cabbage Patch Kids.

Thank you.

Young Celtics fan expected to hate parents soon

[Due to an editorial spat, this photo has been removed]

To the mother and father who dressed this bright-eyed young fellow, particularly the soul deprived, possibly blind individual who purchased that hat for him: You're aware payback's a bitch, right?