In an effort to liven an up an old gameroom favorite, Rangers legend and notorious coochie whisperer recently introduced his own line of Air Hockey tables. The Ron Duguay Bone Zone Three-way Table Hockey System puts a new spin on air hockey, as the table is shaped like a vagina and requires a three-some instead of the customary head-to-head action. Authentic Duguay-grade chest hair even pops up through the air holes when goals are scored, and the game paddles are actually edible (and come in three flavors: strawberry, cherry and Duguay).
Dugauy has also promised to conduct personal one-on-one home delivery of the tables in the New York Metro area from the hours of 10 AM - 4 PM Monday through Friday. He just asks that customers put out the customary purple thong on the front door handle.
When we had first learned that the above photo was unfortunately and unsurprisingly doctored, we fully expected the sign in the original to say "Hi Tyler. Yay." So stumbling upon "I wish I only got two minutes for hooking" was certainly a welcome surprise.
Who in the hairy hell is Artem Anisimov, one might ask? Who cares. This is the celebration of the year, and it's not close. So even though the only hockey we talk about is how many skinny guys and how many Fat Mario's make for the most effective lineup in Nintendo Ice Hockey, Anisimov is still awarded Hernia Immunity because that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Reports have confirmed that New York Rangers legend and current MSG hockey analyst, Ron Duguay, is boning your wife right now on your kitchen floor.
Sources say the notorious coochie whisperer is pleasuring her in ways you never could imagine and intends on finishing her off with a move he learned from Sting a few years ago while on a Yoga retreat in the Maldives.
Our sources have also confirmed that it is pointless for you to go home and attempt to salvage the relationship, and that it's probably best if all parties just "move on."
Oh, and all of your crap is neatly arranged in the front yard.
The puzzling craftsmanship of this Islanders sign gets even more puzzling if you take a moment to examine the colorful piece of crap.
You'll notice the stenciled 'A', 'T', 'N', 'C', 'G', 'E', and 'S' were executed flawlessly, which brings us to asking what we think might become the burning question of the summer: Why weren't they applied throughout the rest of the sign? Did some of the stenciled letters break during the design application stage and thus, break this wonderful Long Islander's spirit?
Much like the Islanders under Wang's reign, the sign appeared to begin with a organized plan in mind, but then everything quickly went to shit.
[via Yahoo via Christopher Pasatieri/Getty Images]
And if the Bruins aren't up early in tonight's Game 5 by at least a goal, this savage diehard pictured above and his band of cronies -- who definitely didn't just hop aboard the Bruins bandwagon -- have demanded that All-Star defenseman Ray Bourque also see more time.
While the well informed hockey fan will sadly not be in attendance to hoot and holler, he does have plans to start a "Yankees Suck" chant multiple times throughout the evening.
Nothing changes an average game like Betting Online. When you have a stake in the outcome of a contest, a typical match can become a memorable event. One might say that it's even more fun than a sports hernia...
and you could come away with some extra cash! The only better feeling than winning is having extra pocket money.