The Sports Hernia Blog

Javale McGee escapes cartoon, descends from United Center rafters, throws ball in hoop

Javale McGee is at the very least half something other than human. When we find out what exactly that is, we'll be sure to update this post.

[via TBL]

Happy birthday to Hernia Hero, Greg Ostertag

Things are getting a little misty around the Hernia offices today, first we learned about the death of Paul Bearer, then we got word that the 'Sexiest of all Time', Greg Ostertag, is turning 40. We are all getting old, Big O. Happy birthday.

To celebrate, here are a few links from our intertwined past:

The All-Time NBA Pretty Boys

tony tony TONY

Report: Everyone on Yahoo Sports Screaming

Thank you.

 

The Minnesota Timberwolves may suck at basketball, but they are now 2-for-2 in the video department. Hoping this piece of footage puts an end to this hacky 'trend'. 

This happened last night

That is all. Move along, but don't rush the court and bump into Coach K. He will be predictably pissed off and flash his infamous Wise Chips Owl Scowl. 

[Photo via Reddit]

Watch out Rickey Henderson

Don't turn around Mr. Henderson, because Adam Eaton is coming. Is there any chance that the same guy who wrote copy for this card is currently working in the NJ Nets stats/PR department?

Either we are talking about an evil genius at work (or geniuses) or two of the biggest jerkoff interns that need atomic wedgies.

 [Photo via Reddit]

Ben Howland preps for Pac-10 showdown with the Brahs

John Wooden would call Ben Howland a pussy for playing the Brotastic game of beer pong. As the story goes, Wooden was an old school house rules Beer Die guy. In fact, we are pretty sure it was this close from being a block on the Wooden Pyramid of Sucesss. The Hernia does applaud Howland for dressing as a fourth member of bizarro Run DMC.

[Photo via Deadspin]

Danger ... Men drinking

 

Former NBA Bad Boy Robert Swift is a squatter. Our favorite line from the segment was that Robert could not come outside because he was "asleep after taking pills." I hate when the Problem Solvers knock on your door and that happens. Total bullshit, man.

Previously: Frankly, Robert Swift is as stunned as you are, Amare
 

Circus, Rodeo and Other NBA Road Trips

It's that time of year when a handful of NBA teams take extended road trips because of special annual events in the their home arenas.  Both the Lakers and Clippers are on the road this weekend due to the Grammys, while other teams are affected by similar events, which are oftentimes specific to their cities. 

Here's a quick list:

Los Angeles - The Grammys

Chicago Bulls - Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus

San Antonio - Stock & Rodeo Show

Milwaukee - Home Brewers Guild Meeting

Minnesota - Gathering of the Juggalos

Miami - Over-sized Sunglass Convention

Sacramento - Some Pyramid Scheme hosted by the Maloofs

New Orleans - Herpes Week

Charlotte - Junior High School Basketball Finals (first sellout for the arena all year)

Cleveland - Garbage Dump Convention

Orlando - Some Disney Bullshit

Portland - Piercing Parade

Boston - 3^rd Annual Dance Gronkathon

Denver - Sticky Nugz Dank Review featuring String Cheese Incident, 311 and Ozomatli

Houston - It Just Smells Bad in February

Detroit - Murder 

[Photo via Hipster Runoff]

Russian basketball coach can dish

 

You've heard of point guards who are described as being 'another coach on the court' but this is a little different.  Imagine if this was passed to Reggie Theus?  He would have definitely launched a three and then charmed the pom-poms off a cheerleader with his undeniable steely charm.

Report: This Laker fan exists

Basketball Jesus?  Yeah, No.  We assume this was taken on Christmas day and had something to do with putting the Christ back in Christmas.  This guy has a better chance of banging Paula Abdul.  Extra kudos for the Bro behind him who found Laker purple skinny jeans to match his untied, giant tounge hanging, limited edition Smush Parker Nikes.  Also, you live in LA ... nice hat, dick.

[Photo via CNNSI]