Here's how The Sports Hernia scored the groundbreaking er... message:
1) Tweeted at the most talked-about athlete in sports at the moment while implicating that Bill Simmons was either gay or a pedophile. (+2)
2) Got a RT from Bill Simmons, something we are sure @MikeSilvaMedia might literally KILL for. (+1)
3) Used the word 'Cum' in the Tweet. (+7)
4) Announced its homophobic tendencies. (0)
5) Failed to specify whether Simmons was a homosexual or heterosexual pedophile. (-23)
Total Score: GET FUCKED
Editor's note: this hosehead is NOT affiliated with Barstool Chicago. Apologies to @BarstoolBigCat for not using something called 'Google'. I will now go snort Fun Dip until Sunday in lieu of blogging. Viva La Stool?