The Sports Hernia Blog

Twitter erupts over TateGate

 

Outrage over the officiating in the Packers-Seahawks game blew up on the blogosphere on Monday night and Tuesday.  Not only were NFL players critical of the league and replacement refs, but entertainment icons and world political leaders alike.  The Sports Hernia gathered some of the most notable Tweets from the past 24 hours:

 

Jermichael Finley: Come on @NFL this shit is getting out of Control. Caused us a DAMN game. Horrible!

Pete Carroll:WOW!!! What a game!! Love our guys for battling all the way to the end and never giving up! #Seahawks

Tim Gunn: Only thing more tragic than that call is Seattle’s uniforms #SeattleSeeHurts #fallseason

Nelson Mandela: I didn’t wrongly spend 27 years in prison for replacement refs to ruin the NFL #WTF

Stephen Hawkin: This shit is beyond cray. Goodell need to wake da fuck up #ScabRefsBlow #wormhole

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Come on NFL!! Enuff is enuff... #NFL #DeathToInfadels

Bob Dylan: My Packers got hosed. Bring back da real zebras all ready #NFL #WhoAmI?

Noam Chomsky: R u seriouz NFL?? Every1 already new the NFL wuz fixed, but dis shit iz 2 obvi... #Conspiracy #Ladies-SendMeTitPics

Jesse “The Mind” Ventura: Everyone knows that Roger Goodall is in the league of shadows and has been monitoring the brain waves Vikings fans for YEARS! #Truth

Bud Selig: HAHAHAHA! The NFL sucks, please watch the MLB playoffs! #CommishBud

Boo-Boo Bear: Someone needs to put Steve Young on suicide watch #MNF

Queen Elizabeth: Refs got it wrong: Bartman caught that ball!  But seriously, Goodell can suck my cock #sickofit #diamondjubilee

Japanese Emperor Akihito: Goodell.  You great shame to NFL. Come to Japan. Bukkake awaits #bentobox #jizz

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Report: Patriots/The Killers considering frontman swap

 

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Instant Hernia Hall of Fame Nominee

 

We tip our hats to this innovative middle-aged man. I guess there's not much else to do with $175 tickets at Wrigley when the Cubbies have been out of the race since May.

Please note the Freudian slip at the 0:31 mark when Bob Brenly says: "That lead pipe sinker..." 

 

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Hockey lockout 'eh?

As word came down about the NHL lockout, a nation of puck heads have come to the realization that they will need to turn their lonely Northern Lights impaired eyeballs to something new this fall. Without Don Cherry and Hockey Night In Canada, we have to wonder what our neighbors in the Great White North will do with all their extra time. The Hernia took to the Canadian phone book, and randomly polled 100 Canadians about their lockout plans. Some of the better responses (when we could understand what they were talking a boot) were:

- Alphabetize their team's sweater collection

- Finally get the guitar part down for Queensryche's 'Silent Lucidity'

- Wear ice skates to work in staunch protest

- Catch up on all the hella' funny Bob & Doug Mackenzie YouTube videos

- Grow mullet extra long so flowing locks can serve as emergency tissues

- Finally kick that pop habbit

- Continue to confuse the public about their place in society

- Finish that screenplay they have been working on (a Ryan RomCom featuring Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling)

- Finish a blog post about why Alanis Morissette defined the 90s 

- Re-connect with the rest of the cast of 'Full House'

- Take the metro down to New York to give that total hose-head Bettman a talking to

- Taunt the crowd from NHL 94

- Replace basement wood paneling with newer wood paneling

- Help re-launch then guest star in 'Trailer Park Boys'

- Continue to bone EVERYTHING

- Buy even chunkier high tops (specifically Avias)

- Attempt to beat Contra without a cheat code

- Look to upgrade 15-year-old Stonewash Wranglers from High School

- Finally call that babe in Saskatchawan that I met on AOL Hockey Chatroom

- Grow out pube mullet

- Pick up archery

- Reenact every scene from Slap Shot and Youngblood.  Again.

 

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The real reason Derrick Rose was crying

By now you may have seen Derrick Rose break down and cry at the press conference for his new Adidas sneaker. Many assumed it was because of the touching video that was shown documenting Rose's rehab. We like Mr. Rose, if only for the fact that he doesn't rub elbows in the offseason with his rivals. It is our best guess that he was crying because it was the first time he laid his eyes on the ugly pontoons that are adorned with his brand/name. We look forward to sitting in traffic and seeing one (not two) of these thrown out on the side of the interstate.

[Photos via SportsGrid & KeepItTrill.com]

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A double bird salute to a coaching legend

 

The term 'there will never be another' gets thrown out there quite a bit these days.  But it is safe to say there will never be another Jim Calhoun.  Men like this aren't allowed anywhere near coaching anymore.  We'd also like to think that Calhoun yearns to throw knuckles with the pscyhologist who decided everyone should get a trophy and a game ball. 

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The NFL Is back....

... and so are these disasters.  Go team.

[Photos via NFL Fanstyle]

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Report: America can go back to not giving a shit about Andy Roddick

There are also rumblings that comments similar to "he gets to retire to boning Brooklyn Decker" will earn you a Power Wedgie from the Gronkowski brothers.

[Photo via Wrapupp]

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Report: Kid is all over the place

We know the youngster pictured above is talking about renowned cheater, Lance Armstrong, but we can't figure out the connection to the Hulk costume or the random flag tied around his neck.  We were, however, able to figure out via Google that Mellow Johnny's is an Austin area bike shop.  The guess here is that Johnny can probably hook you up with some tasty slow cooked/smoked EPO, all while listening to some excellent Rockabilly.

Anyway, this kid seems to have a bunch on his plate.  To quote a line from one of our favorite movies, "He's just a mixed up kid."

He said he loved you

[Photo via CNNSI]

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Long Live Nellie

Hernia legend Don Nelson has it all figured out these days.  He traded in the coaching whistle for shaved ice, coffee farming/roasting, bicycle manufacturing, growing olive trees, formulating dog food, and playing poker (with Willie Nelson, Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson).  It may sound like we are making it up, but we are 100% serious thanks to a marvelous piece from Mark Emmons of the San Jose Mercury News.

Thankfully, the NBA finally got around to acknowledging the guy that invented small ball, brought us the glory of Run TMC, rarely changed his clothes, and had no qualms about slugging back vino to liven up post game presses.  We can only hope that Willie is rolling Don's cigars these days.

[Photo via The Boston Herald]

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