The Sports Hernia Blog

Report: Men across the world argue over which Olympic sport is the best to masturbate to...

BONERTOWN, USA -- Multiple sources have confirmed that 93.7% of all men on earth are currently engaged in a spirited debate over which Olympic sport is the best to choke the chicken to. The high-brow debate is predominantly taking place over email, Twitter, and in the wonderfully enlightened comment sections of blogs all across the masturbation superhighway, with millions of men already going on record and stating that they would "totally bone that one Chinese swimmer" or "pork that Swedish field hockey hottie with the tattoo".

Sadly, our sources have not been able to confirm if the statuesque Brasilian volleyball goddess Jaque would in turn bone any of your fat asses. 

Unfortunate PR pitch headline award goes to...

.... Take Part for their amazing handle on appropriateness. If the headline was not enough, the pitch included a single ominous image of Paterno's statue. We get it. 

Hulkamania still running wild after all these years

Yes, this was probably taken in the inconceivable dump known as Tampa, Florida and yes, this is probably Hulk Hogan's beefy daughter, but still, it's Hulkamania, brother.

Jeremy Lin's New York departure expected to put end to stupid crap

Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Sherri Shepherd and Barbaro Walters discussing Knicks point guard, Jeremy Lin on the god forsaken View. 

Let's repeat that again, altogether this time: Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Sherri Shepherd and Barbaro Walters discussing Knicks point guard, Jeremy Lin on the god forsaken View.

So as much as we found the Jeremy Lin phenomenon an entertaining, captivating soap opera -- to a certain degree -- this story has without a doubt reached the tip of our collective wangs and leapt over a killer shark like a skilled Olympian. 

Good luck in Houston, buddy.

Hundreds probably died in Reading, Pa., last night

 

Creators of Bad Idea Jeans seize control of minor league home run derby.

Adrian Peterson is apparently guilty of something

How else could one explain why the injured Viking's running back would hire Hernia legend Rusty Hardin to represent him. On a side note, the Hernia intends on setting up a Kickstarter account to defend ourselves the next time we get escorted out of a watering hole, get pinched for mixing Miller Light and HGH, or assaulting a flight attendant.

 

What is the Italian 'Green Man' smuggling in his crotch?

- 2 Kilos of bamba

- A Z. Cavaricci fanny pack 

- 'Things to do' notebook (#1 bash yourself in the balls repeatedly after the Euoro Cup for wearing spandex in public)

- Step-by-step Phil Mickeltits chest workout 

- His replica NWO Championship belt

[Photo via CNNSI]

Did someone say hot dogs?

First off, the Hernia would like to wish you a happy and safe 4th of July. If you are looking for a little consumption inspiration today, we suggest you check out the inaugeral Crif Dog Classic at noon EST. It is being streamed live on CNNSI, and features gastro legends Takeru Kobayashi, US Male, Furious Pete & Stephanie 'Chilita' Torres (among others). 

Wondering why Kobi isn't going head-to-head with Joey Chestnut at Nathan's? He sat down with Amy K. Nelson to shed some light on the details.

 

We know you have probably watched the Nathan's Contest every year at Noon on ESPN...and you still can... on tape delay at 3 PM. To watch live you will need to have access to ESPN Pi.

Check out the Ustream feed of the Crif Dog Classic here:

Live video by Ustream