The Sports Hernia Blog

Pro Bowler Pete Weber seriously exists

As the baffled sheriff in The Goonies once aptly stated, "Holy Mary, mother of god ... Look at that. 

The sizzling strike by Pete Weber quite obviously just shed every single wedgie he ever received.  That's a full day.

[via TheBigLead]

Kyrie Irving REALLY enjoyed the Slam Dunk Contest

And put it this way, Jeremy Evans doesn't seem to mind Kyrie's awkward boner one bit. Not one bit.

[Photos via Yahoo Sports]

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Follow us on Twitter: @TheSportsHernia & @StopHamelTime

Who are these guys?

The NFL Combine is the first time teams really start rolling out their new coaches and management hires to the naitonal media.  While we all know who Jeff Fisher is, there is a new batch of charmers on the NFL scene. 

If you can name 3 out of the 6 'personalities' above, you win a briefcase full of hot dogs.

Note: We didn't even include a guy with the last name of Munchak because we thought he might be too recognizable.

[Photos via Yahoo Sports]

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Follow us on Twitter: @TheSportsHernia & @StopHamelTime

Being Kobi... the teaser

 

Here is a teaser clip from the forthcoming Being Kobayashi.  It is brought to you from a friend of the Hernia, Brian Bassett.  If this doesn't get you fired up to eat some wings or hot dogs, nothing will.

[Via Brian Bassett]

JaVale McGee confirms passion for volleyball, distaste for organized basketball

No player on the Washington Wizards embodies the spirit of not giving a shit quite like center JaVale McGee.  The only clearer way to illustrate such burning dissatisfaction would have been for McGee to steal the ball from his own teammate and dunk one home for Sacramento.  Cheers to you, big fella.

Mikhail Prokhorov is a slightly better rapper than your dad

The colossoal disappointment here was learning that Mikhail Prokhorov pronounces his name as Michael rather than "Mick-ale," which would be far more arrogant and a perfect fit for his masterful persona. 

Nonetheless, our thoughts are prayers go out to Jay-Z and his family.  He's expected to make a full recovery by mid-March.

[via TheBigLead]

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Follow us on Twitter: @TheSportsHernia & @StopHamelTime

The Hernia Is Slipping

It is a sad day when we miss the opportunity to share a photo of New York Giants owner John Mara visibly distraught from being downwind of a Governor Christie ass blast. 

[Photo via Yahoo]

Follow us on Twitter: @TheSportsHernia & @StopHamelTime

"Pitchers" and Catchers Report

Somwhere Baba Booey is smiling, and Nolan Ryan is eating a bottle of Maker's Mark after realizing he gave Mike Adams a 4 million plus contract. 

[Photo via Yahoo]

Follow us on Twitter:  @TheSportsHernia & @StopHamelTime

Mike Tyson confirms he spent his money stupidly, specifically on "dumb shit"

It's been a slow week here at the Hernia and we apologize for such a disgraceful lack of reporting.  The absence does come with good reason though, as we were in L.A. for the Grammys with Giants standout and fellow Jersey native, Victor Cruz, and have just now awoken after being knocked out during a chest-bumping contest with a couple overly aggressive Playboy bunnies.  Carry on.

Hernia Exclusive - Behind the Bulge: Sanchez-Kardashian rumor

Rumors are swirling that Mark Sanchez is living up to his inevitable "Dirty" Sanchez nickname and is now dating Kim Kardashian.  She is of course denying it, but that is what fame whores and real whores do.  In this exclusive "Behind the Bulge" piece (obviously leaked by an internal Hernia mole) our newsroom was aflutter with questions and lewd declarations to go along with Bugles and Sierra Nevada Torpedo farts.  One such statement about the state of Kim's vagina left everyone visibly ill:

"It probably looks like that guy's face in Stand by Me after he finished the pie-eating contest." 

Enjoy your weekend!