Rumors are swirling that Mark Sanchez is living up to his inevitable "Dirty" Sanchez nickname and is now dating Kim Kardashian. She is of course denying it, but that is what fame whores and real whores do. In this exclusive "Behind the Bulge" piece (obviously leaked by an internal Hernia mole) our newsroom was aflutter with questions and lewd declarations to go along with Bugles and Sierra Nevada Torpedo farts. One such statement about the state of Kim's vagina left everyone visibly ill:
"It probably looks like that guy's face in Stand by Me after he finished the pie-eating contest."
Enjoy your weekend!