The New York Post's Steve Serby has written his horniest, most homo-erotic column to date, a sprawling, tension filled romp based around the authoritatian/rebel relationship of Giants coach Tom Coughlin and jilted WR Plaxico Burress. Sources say editors had to snatch the column from under Serby while he furiously humped the print-outs on the newsroom floor.
Serby immediately sets the tone with his dramatic stand-alone opening line of:
"Two men in a room."
Before unleashing these horny gems from the deepest depths of his permed self-conscious:
"Tom Coughlin, from behind the desk in his office, looking Plaxico Burress in the eye... Plaxico Burress looking Tom Coughlin in the eye, to see if this is a man he can better understand"
"Two men searching for answers, if not closure"
"One Man looking for a red-zone monster"
"One man looking for a home"
"Tom Coughlin, trying to reach Plaxico Burress like he has never reached him before"
If you don't have a boner by now, try reading the column as Serby had always envisioned: simultaneously listening to this masterpiece.