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So SI Swimsuit model and owner of a victiorious booty, Kate Upton has a sister? Have our heads been sewn to the carpet that long? Did anyone else know about this? If you did, how long have you known? And why you didn't you tell us? And where the hell was I?
*This qualifies as sports-related since they were at the Yankee game for Kate's birthday*
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We really don't know what this is supposed to be, but our guess is that this particular bar in Wuerzburg, Germany holds both Dirk Nowitzki and The Three Amigos in extreme high regard.
Though it's not nearly as inviting as the drunk-and-high-as-hell-with-Nash version of Dirk, you must rememeber, these are Germans.
[Photo via Yahoo]
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The poor thing was forced to sleep in Cuban's bed last night wearing matching pajamas and supposedly had to sit next to the excited Mavs owner at breakfast this morning, hold hands with him in line at the airport, drink from a coffee with two straws at Starbucks, and sit next to him on the plane ride back to Dallas, all while Cuban rudely ignored the Trophy's hair advice.
We know you're fired up, Cubes, but please honor the Larry O'Brien Trophy's request and allow it to slap Brian Cardinal's bald head.
[Photo via @mcuban]
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If there's one thing we love about LeBron James, it's that he's as geunine as a Werther's Original. Go get 'em, you endlessly amused bastard.
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Among the things we'd prefer to do before ever shaving a professional sports team's logo, accompanying proper colors and all, into our head:
- Fight Drogo
- Do a cannonball into a McDonald's deep-fryer
- Drink a vodka-Ajax
- Aggressively chew on items in the Lost & Found bin
- Drive a bus directly into the Hudson River
- Conduct our daily lives like the Japanese Howard Cosell
- Watch "The View"
- Wear a jersey & tuck into our cargo shorts
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Our source in Miami, who was seated just to the right of where the photographer cropped his photograph, claims to have heard a mouse pissing on a cotton ball as well as a heated argument between two drivers that took place outside the stadium.
If you plan on attending an upcoming Marlins game, you're full of shit.
[via Yahoo via Marc Serota/Getty Images]
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This picture was taken in the third inning of the Marlins-Brewers game this past Sunday afternoon. We can't say this for sure, but we're guessing people in Florida don't really give a shit about the Marlins. On the plus side, they're getting a new stadium, one with a retractable roof and quite possibly, retractable seats.*
*This sentence can only be read in Phil Mushnick voice.
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Students at Ohio State recently marched to the doorstep of Jim Tressel's house to conduct a rally for the disgraced football coach that included a surreal sing-and-cheer that only a mouth full of shrooms might be able to make sense of.
Dont these people go to Ohio State? Aren't drugs, kegs and tits basically falling out of trees and leaping from rooftop to rooftop?
Even if the only three options in Columbus were to get high, suck on sorority nip or hang out with a 58-year-old man and his wife, it appears thousands of lost souls have managed to shove the decision-making pyramid directly up their assholes.
[via TheBigLead]
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Wayne Rooney admitted Saturday he had undergone a hair transplant, the results of which the British soccer player said he would reveal on Monday.
However, the ever-crafty Hernia mole has learned that Rooney selected one of following three options:
70s Barry Manilow
Young Version of Rob Corddry from "Hot Tub Time Machine"
The always popular Hi-Top Fade
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According to the Hernia mole who was strategically hidden in the botanical garden in which the Brady workouts took place, the bulk of the time spent consisted of the following:
* Strong focus on ambiturns
* Arrogant but ultimately empty laughs
* Weeing down waterslides
* Complicated hat wearing session
* Gasoline fights
* Several attempts to out-bro one another
* Dizzying Jazzercise to Weekend at Bernie's soundtrack
* Shoulder cries
[via Yahoo]
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