Thanks for fucking my bracket again, this will be the last time your shit conference fucks my bracket. Ever since you have expanded to 35 teams and let in fucking losers like Notre Dame and Louisville, you have screwed me over and over. I want Boston College back, fuck those two pussy basketball schools. I don’t even know where to start, which one of your 11 teams was the biggest asshole to my bracket.
That is a lie, I do know where to start, I will start with the second biggest scumbag coach in the Big East, Dick Pitino and his Louisville Shitnals. These fucking punks lost to Morehead State, granted they were on a tear winning 12 of 13 games, but in the Ohio Valley conference. How big can those schools be? Asshole Pitino loses on Thursday in the first round (or second, whatever the fuck the NCAA is calling it these days) and then on Friday he is in the CBS studio analyzing games. What a piece of shit, first off, why the fuck would I take any of his advice and secondly, he never misses a chance to make a buck. While his kids (and they are kids) are heading back to school, fucking crushed that they lost, he is making an extra buck talking about hoops, what a disgrace. Get butt porked!
Then there is Notre Dame, Jesus fucking Christ, what a bunch of private school pussies. I still can’t believe I picked this team to win more than one game, I should chop off my balls just for that. Sure, they took care of business against Akron high school, but then Florida State takes a steaming dump on them, and I am talking a giant elephant dump. It wasn’t even a game. FSU bitch-slapped a bunch of catholic schoolgirls, and even though it was killing my bracket, it was a pleasure to watch. They call themselves the Fighting Irish, what a joke. Every Irish person on the planet should be ashamed, I have tangled with some Irish people, and they know how to fight and Notre Dame put up a fight like the French in World War II.
Cincinnati… I picked these fuckwads too and it pains me writing that, I never pick these criminals simply because of the Bob Huggin’s years (the biggest scumbag coach in the Big East), but I listened to all the pundits about how tough the Big East was this year. Yup, they were right, real fucking tough.
St. John’s was actually my bad, I take the blame for it. I forgot their best forward and top rebounder was injured, and that really did sink them. So, that is on me.
Syracuse, they are just fucking sad. How many times did those cunts turn the ball over in the last two minutes? It was a disgrace, it was like watching Lamda Lamda Lamda playing basketball and LeMar was their point guard. Steve Hawking has better hands then the Orangemen.
Finally, there is the state of Pennsylvania, Pitt and Nova, again have FUCKED ME. Nova I will let up a bit since they lost to a decent George Mason team, but Butler and that Skeksis, Matt Howard, embarrassed Pitt. They didn’t get blown out, but a NO. 1 seed losing to an eight seed, is pathetic. Pitt was ranked no.1 in the country this year and spent the majority of the time in the top 10 and they bow out in the second (or third) round? Well, on the bright side, Pittsburgh can look forward to the Pirates season. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! What a bunch of losers.
For the rest of the Big East, I never pick Georgetown because they blow. I never pick Temple because Don Cheney can’t tie a tie, wait, are they even in the Big East? Anyway, the Big East teams who actually won and are still dancing, you can go fuck yourselves as well, I am sure you will choke here shortly.
Now that my bracket is busted I will pull for nothing but upsets. The worst part about it is that the Headless Horseman is going to give me shit for the rest of the year, can’t believe that fucker actually picked VCU and Florida State.
Every so often, a headless horsemen storms through Hernia Headquarters and drops off a rolled up piece of paper, made from bone and drenched in blood. Nine times out of ten, it is the F.U. Corner (and the other time it's a menu for Wok 'n Roll).