The Sports Hernia Blog

Blue Jays expected to fill Gatorade cooler with hot coals tonight

This very well might be the first Gatorade dumping in which the coach or manager didn't react like they were being attacked by a school of electric eels.

In fact, Cito seems to find the sudden avalanche of ice cold Gatorade to be quite soothing.

Entire Blue Jays roster honors Cito Gaston with fake mustaches

Well, with the exception of this dubious ingrate.  When given the opportunity to wear a fake mustache made of electrical tape, you must jump at that chance with the eagerness of Kim Kardashian's personal nipple tweaker.  For shame, guy-on-the-Blue-Jays, for shame.

"The Chinese Superman" as introduced by the eloquent Rick Barry

That's correct, you just heard Rick Barry in the 1988 NBA Slam Dunk contest coin Michael Jordan's dunk "The Chinese Superman" because, well, he'll tell ya:

"That's what I call the uh, the Chinese Superman Dunk 'cause he kind of flies a little sideways there, got a little slant to the shot."

And yet, to this day, it's hard to believe he's never been given a coaching gig.

Need to name your next dunk?  Just ask Rick.

Other dunks he's dubbed include:

- The Gay Free-Throw Line Dunk
- Dirty Spic Windmill
- The NigGo-Rilla
- The Jewy Air-Shifter
- The Blindfolded Faggot
- Two-handed Hiroshima Destroyer
- Retarded Alley Oop
- Oily Towelhead Backdoor Jam
- The Cracka-Ass 360
- Drunk Indian-Giver Reverse Jam
- The Little Asian Spinner
- The Hairy French Armpit Statue of Liberty
- The Teabaggin' Whitie
- Tomahawk Dunk (oh wait, that actually exists)

Yay, it's NBA Media Day!

Each and every year NBA Media Day is always an awkward affair.  For example, on what other day of the NBA calendar year can you get Los Angeles Clippers Craig Smith and DeAndre Jordan to impersonate the overexcited Road Beef that consistently swarms Chris Kaman?  None, we say.  If you're bold and daring, click through for more hell.

Cesar Izturis counters beanball with imaginary flute solo

We're told it was a solo that would even make Ron Burgundy jealous.  "Hey Aqualung!"

Ernie Grunfeld calls impromptu press conference to show everyone his cheesesteak

Oh come on, just admit it.  That hand was beggin' for a cheesesteak.  Or some Beggin' Strips.

*Special thanks to Sebek and his expert photoshop skills*

Mike Aviles' game of leapfrog off to lonely start

This is the most embarrassing moment for the Kansas City Royals since Josh Fields was caught playing his PS3 at third base.  Quite sadly, that happened just two days before Aviles' took off for the outfield during his underwhelming game of leapfrog.

[via Yahoo via AP]

Report: Lots of idiots attend sporting events

The only valuable takeaway from this video is the fact that we are now aware Circle K has their own line of bandannas.  Thank you, crazy angry guy about to beat some ass.

Why Are Arizona Football Fans So Angry? [TBL]

Japanese Gus Johnson finally discovered

Gotta love how calm Gus-san Johnson is at the outset, but much like Gus Johnson and the great Gustavo Johnson, the gears in his voicebox shift rapidly, inevitably exploding like a horny volcano.

It's as if he's literally doing a battle cry.  Someone in the press box has just been cut in half by a samurai sword.

まあ、先生をやった！ (that's Japanese for, "well done, sir!")

Some Shades of Maradona Mexico ‘86 [New York Times]

Fan with tasty flapjacks brings auto racing to forefront for a minute

Not since Terrence Cody unleashed his ferocious pancake tits has a set of jammers caused such a nationwide frenzy.  You may now take a cheese grater to your eyeballs.

Danica Patrick Autographs Some Boobs [Slanch Report]