The captivating photo you see above was part of a Mets sports-a-day calendar unfortunately gifted to one of the fine gentleman over at Legend of Cecilio Guante.
To celebrate the fact that such absurdity is actually available for purchase, we've added our own nuggets in the hopes that our "memorable moments" might make the next printing of these pride-sucking calendars:
Which Met got caught snorting cocaine at a trendy nightclub in 1987?
Which Mets reliever choked and crumbled under the pressure in the 9th inning of Game 1 of the 2000 World Series against the Yankees, effectively ruining their chances of a championship?
Which Met hasn't shit on your dreams yet?
What didn't Jesse Orosco snort?
Did Anthony Young suck, or did Anthony Young suck?
Which Met gave your girlfriend syphilis while she was away with her family in Aruba?
How many times did Rafael Santana pork your sister?
Do you pray for Omar Minaya to one day be trapped in Street Fighter?
Why did Steve Phillips let piranhas hang from his ballbag?
Which Mets GM sucked the least?
a) Omar Minaya
b) Steve Phillips
c) Dan Duquette
d) Flushing-area hooker
e) All equally sucked it
Do you enjoy that the Mets have more uniform combinations than Ric Flair has robes?
Ever boink a chick while wearing a Rusty Staub wig?
Who the fuck is Art Howe?
It's incredibly annoying to respond to questions about the Mets choking with "which time," isn't it?
Don't you wish Vince Coleman threw firecrackers at Gary Carter's perm?
Why on fucking earth did you buy a Mets trivia calendar?
Mets Calendar: Cute Stocking Stuffer or Daily Torture Device? [Legend of Cecilio Guante]