The Sports Hernia Blog

Emotionally dysfunctional Robin Lopez somehow scores 20 points

Those in attendance at U.S Airways Center claim Lopez had not realized until that very moment that Kiki Vandeweghe coaches Nets games topless, but we're still sticking with emotionally dysfunctional.

Suns 118, Nets 94 F [NBA.com]

Update: Curt Schilling still an overwhelming assclown

Just look at this guy.

Confirmed: ESPN thinks you're all a bunch of idiots

Up next for ESPN, Lady Gaga will host a chilling chapter of "Outside The Lines" while Bob Ley rocks his tits off in Manhattan for the next four days at Radio City Music Hall.

Hasselbecks switch places; Elisabeth comes to ESPN [New Britain Herald]

Jose Calderon ditches defense in favor of dashing cartwheel

Fanboy father names son J.E.T.S. instead of D.A.F.I

It's really a shame, because Dad's A Fucking Idiot has a nice ring to it.

A Boy Named J.E.T.S. [ESPN]

Bernie Kosar Google search yields humbling results

The maddening web search for Bernie Kosar starts off like a freight train: Drunk, Divorce, Bankruptcy.  And then boom, the finisher: Alcoholic.

With that said, out of all of these stinging results, we still find "Cleveland Browns" to be the most offensive.

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Chinese Starbury

A slightly confused Chinese Starbury seen here preparing for kabuki theater.

Marbury signs with Chinese basketball team [TSN]
Stephon Marbury goes completely 'Off the Wall' [TMZ]

Unenthused Prince still waiting for Favre to wear No. 7

At the time Fox showed us this compelling split-screen shot of email buddies Prince and Bud Grant, both skyboxes were coincidentally blaring this ass-kicking anthem:

Vikings brass plays it safe, avoids awkward white guy high-five

The old two thumbs up routine is not only highly underused, but greatly underrated on the scale of embarrassing-stuffy-white-guy celebrations.  Cufflinks off to these fine gents!

Adam Schefter stuns critics, somehow becomes douchier

"Um, yeeeeeeah, put me down for a tuck."