The Sports Hernia Blog

The Big Baby doesn't wike his wittle nickname? Awww.

Tubby Celtics forward Glen "Big Baby" Davis was quoted as uttering the following words:

“I’ll be ‘Uno, Uno.’ That’s my new name. Don’t call me ‘Big Baby’ any more. ‘Uno, Uno.’ I’m serious. If somebody calls me (‘Big Baby’), I’ll be really mad. I’m going to blast that out on Twitter and Facebook

That's unfortunate.  We would've gone with Bizarro-Costanza-On-Kramer's-Couch.  But hey, blast away, fatty.

Meanwhile, with the nickname suddenly up for grabs, LeBron James is debating whether he should now be known as "Big Baby," or rather something edgier and possibly more fitting, like "Dancing Dickface."  Visual reasoning for both, after the jump ...

Scorching boner count at Senior Bowl workouts now up to 146

Somewhere in Mobile, Alabama, it's getting sweaty, awkward and creepy.  The safe guess is, naughty ESPN writer Chad Ford has devilishly hacked into Benjamin Volin's Twitter account.

Jerry and Wade hold presser for sole purpose of synchronized farting

According to several Dallas beat reporters, the room smelled like buffalo wings trapped in an inflamed Newark chemical plant for a good 35 minutes.

Hawks coach Mike Woodson channeling Uncle Leo for reasons unknown

It appears the desperate coach of the Atlanta Hawks is still doing whatever it takes to get his name out there.

On a somewhat related note, fellow Hernia scribe Gerrard Sir Hornypants sideswiped me with a $5,000 offer this morning, asking if I could name the Raptors coach within five seconds.  The first name that came to mind was My Blue Heaven's Barney Coopersmith.  Five seconds is a short time, even for Google.  For the record, I still have no fucking idea who coaches the Toronto Raptors.

[Woodson photo via TBL via tweetphoto]

Study: The Knicks blow too

Last week it was the Nets whose suckiness was revealed, this week it's the Knicks, who lost by 50 ball-stomping points to the Mavs.

Mike Francesa once remembered a Cowboys game really well

FINALLY, at long last, we've learned that Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman was not injured during the 1989 season because Mike Francesa remembers the game very well and thinks Aikman wasn't hurt.

In somewhat related news, we've just been told by a WFAN insider that Francesa's headset plugs directly into his ballbag.

Prince finally smiles after penning fight song of the century

For an optimum listening experience, we highly recommend wearing a Domino's Bread Bowl on your head.

Prince Reveals Song for Vikings-Saints Game [MyFox9.com]

ESPN breaks out the fancy vocab to remind us Jets are believers

Of all the words in the world available to ESPN in order to convey "confidence," they go with "cocksureness" on their front page.

Wholeheartedly approve.  Which can't be a good thing.

[Image via, obviously, ESPN]
[[Thanks to Tim L. for the heads up]]

Tracy McGrady to suit up for Team Champs in NBA All-Star game

Just look at all these votes!

Despite losing ways, Montreal fans remain fiendishly horny

Always gotta appreciate hockey fans who know what they want, and most of them usually do.  But sometimes they tend to go a bit overboard, like in last night's Blues-Canadians game.  Towards the end of the second period, play was stopped after someone tossed a blow-up doll onto the ice.  The doll was dressed in a dominatrix get-up and a ball gag, causing several distracted players to brawl over who would have the privilege of humping it first.