The New York Mets continued their big week today by unveiling a fresh line of sweet lids in what appears to be a heartfelt olive branch to their devoted, old-school fanbase as a way of making up for all those hideous uniform combinations they've introduced over the last several years.
In a word: Victory.
Mets-UNC Mash-up Hat
Marketed To: UNC fans, fraternity brothers, hip hop fanatics, anyone with a noticeable strut.
Mets Zubaz 4Ever Hat
Marketed To: People with no concept of fashion or reality, virgins, the entire cast of ThunderCats.
Mets Home Run Apple Even Though HRs Are Hard To Come By Hat
Marketed To: Foam finger fanatics and owners of drinking helmets. Also, wacky grandfathers.
Spaghetti Slop On Inexplicably Green Mets Hat
Marketed To: All five boroughs as well as North Jersey and Long Island.
Mets Hockey Siren Hat
Marketed To: Mind-blowing idiots, Wal-Mart employees. Specially wired hat blares obnoxiously loud after each home run.
Mets Celebration Of Antlers Hat
Marketed To: Knights of Columbus, Stonecutters, Orcs.
Mets Orthodox Jew Hat
Marketed To: The Diamond District.
Lenny Dykstra Surfing On My Lid Hat
Marketed To: Tobacco chewers, gamblers, cigar aficionados, those who have recently filed for Chapter 11.
Mets Dead Rat Hat
Marketed To: WFAN callers.
Steve Phillips Special Edition Hat
Marketed To: All those lovers out there, especially Kiki Vandeweghe. The dangling ballbag appears that it might obstruct the view, but the actual balls hang low enough that the sight lines are clear.