The Sports Hernia Blog

Appreciate the heady effort Chuck, but next time please call out sick

Thanks much.

Sincerely,

TheSportsHernia Sr. Editor & Chief Co-Editor of the Sr. Griffey Jr

Unimpressed Prince still waiting for Vikings to debut assless uniforms

To make matters worse, at the time this photo was taken, Brad Childress and his deep-fried beard were being shown on the Metrodome jumbotron.  Distasteful and disgraceful, much like the Vikings refusal to wear assless pants.

And yes, it's always that misty in Prince's skybox.

Farewell little fella, we'll always have this

It took robust hippo balls and some creative thinking for you to request Axl Rose-inspired hair extensions the same day you signed that contract extension, L-Frank.  We'll always share that memory.  Never forget, little buddy, never forget.

On a positive note, the actual Axl Rose will attempt to steady the Nets row boat for the next 66 horrifying "basketball" games.

Nets' Frank extends contract, hair [TheSportsHernia]
Nets fire Frank after 0-16 start [Yahoo! Sports]

Five months removed from last appearance, Wang remains rattled

It certainly wouldn't be a stretch to say this is the stiffest Wang has looked in all of 2009.  He does appear to be keeping himself in shape though, as the last thing the Yankees want to see is an overstuffed, flabby Wang.

'Yankees my first choice': Chien-ming Wang [Taiwan News]

Bird Selig would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving

Charlie Weis fiction amazingly still going for as much as one cent

(click to enlarge)

That's right, you can order a used copy of "The New Gold Standard: Charlie Weis and Notre Dame's Rise to Glory" from Amazon.com for one shiny penny.  You can also get a brand new copy for $0.60.

You know what else you can get for about that much?  Two momentarily uplifting gum balls that taste like grasshopper shit after three chews.

But, since it is the holidays and the gum ball machine is empty, we sprang for the $39.95 collectible version that comes with a pepperoni-bedazzled cover.

The Hernia Gives Thanks

We'd like to take this opportunity to give thanks for what matters most, and that is that we are now being followed by Jon Gruden's Penis. 

And yes, as noted at the bottom there, we most certainly believe Jon Gruden's Penis is engaging in abusive behavior.

Resurgent Rangers, wang leads to memorable Larry Brooks opener

It turns out the Rangers win over the Blue Jackets last night wasn't just a wake up call for the struggling Blueshirts, but for the inactive dong of New York Post writer Larry Brooks, too.  Notice the original time stamp of the article.

Go get 'em, Lar.

Rangers wake up; rally past Blue Jackets, 7-4 [NY Post]

American League to Twins: Keep winning those MVP Awards

... and underachieving.

... and losing in the first round.

... and building a stadium with no roof for those beautiful April days in Minnesota.

... and using all that revenue sharing money to delicately groom Mauer's sideburns.

By not penning an unshitty thought, New York Knicks fans know Mike Lupica doesn't care about them

Throw on your khakis and argyle socks, it's time for a ride down squirrel dick lane.

You'll particularly enjoy the part where an out-of-touch Lupica talks to the one alleged Knicks fan he knows -- a guy who awkwardly dresses next to him at the health club.

By not signing Allen Iverson, New York Knicks... [NY Daily News]