1993 - Doctors catch Steve Phillips porking shlubby nurse during delivery of first child.
1994 - Phillips delivers sandwich to new secretary with wang placed firmly between two slices of bread.
1995 - On a road game against the Reds, Phillips disappears for two hours only to be found in the visiting clubhouse bathroom with a bucket of Icy Hot, Marge Schott, and her St. Bernard, Schottzie.
1996 - Phillips replaces all pictures of hot dogs on concession menus with various glamor shots of his woody.
1997 - Phillips trades Lance Johnson for a really good blow job.
2000 - Phillips and a butt-naked Morgana the Kissing Bandit emerge from Shea home run apple during the 7th inning stretch of a day game.
2001 - After being asked to shovel the driveway, Phillips is instead spotted vigorously humping the shed.
2002 - Phillips gets the boot from Mets Christmas party after attaching a mistletoe to the back of his ass-less pants.
2003 - Phillips finally gets fired from Mets after security cameras catch him humping Fred Wilpon's shitzu, Muffy.
2004 - Phillips becomes majority share owner of Horny Goat Weed, LLC.
2005 - On day one at ESPN, Phillips circles cubicle approximately 136 times in the nude, heroically creating his own Naked Mile.
2006 - Intern complains after Phillips stirs her coffee with his junk. He apologizes by bringing her a mug of hot water with tea bags in it, which were also his balls.
2007 - Phillips begins to attend production meetings with pants on. However, he does remain topless.
2008 - Phillips accidentally walks out of dressing room naked with two kissing fish dangling from his testicles.
2008 - Sensing colleagues may be onto him, Phillips decides to wear nipple clamps under his shirt.
2009 - Producers escort Phillips from Sunday Night Baseball booth after incessantly demanding John Miller put on King Kong Bundy's tights.