... is an actual man-rooster.
... is one of 3 men on Earth capable of doing sign language with his chest hair.
... is wondering why he dressed up for a hockey show, no one is watching this.
... should be on Melrose Place.
... has signed your wife's cleavage with a Sharpie (and his dong).
... just ripped the first chest hair fart in history.
... is saying to every vampire out there, "come and get me, I dare you."
... literally rides a white horse that he made to look like a unicorn to MSG studios.
... will somehow find a way to use his nipples to break down the Rangers power-play.
... can only describe with his chest how great it is to be Ron Duguay.