- Fears clowns and strange dolls despite being related to them.
- Can't fathom a world in which Guinness does not exist.
- Needs to finish his round before the lacrosse game starts.
- Knows McLovin.
- Signed $35 million deal with "LA Looks" hair gel.
- Rarely plays with pants on when not on tour.
- Would style and gel his pubes if it meant more poon.
- Has swapped cell phone dong pics with Sean Salisbury.
- Nominated for Oscar for role as Smigel in Lord of the Rings.
- Does a mean impression of the Lucky Charms leprechaun without even knowing it.
- Ears were used by John Totoro for role of Billy Martin in The Bronx is Burning.
- Is not even on the PGA Tour.
- Was a stand-in in Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd.
- Recently said that "after this British Open thing," he's partying hard with Ben Seaver.
- Cured Luco-plakia.
- Spastic laugh is actually worse than his picture indicates.
- Plays quarterback for the Chicago Bears.
- Famous for saying "screw it, let's get some whores" immediately after first bogey.
- Was actually created on Conan O'Brien's "What if they mated" segment that featured Pete Carroll and Bill Parcells.
- Known for enormous, embarrassing Oakley Blades. Think those are bad? You should see the ones he wears on his ass cheeks.
- Becomes the life of the party when he takes off his glasses to reveal the giant tan lines on his face.
- Was much more interesting when he was fat and depressed.
- More dedicated to becoming Mr. Peepers than becoming a dominant golfer.
- Face turns into terrifying cuckoo clock to wake himself up in the morning.
- Says, "I am 36 and still rocking frosted highlights, who wants some?"
- Has eye-fucked you 37 times already.
- Clearly in the beginning stages of the Donald combover.
- Often huffs, "Whatever. My name is Hunter."
- Once got lost for 4 days in an Abercrombie & Fitch.
- Credits his great hair to a penis comb.
Miguel Angel Jimenez
- Has not taken a cigar out of his mouth in 13 days.
- Claims his ponytail is infinitely better than Val Kilmer's in Heat.
- Owns one of Ric Flair's vintage robes.
- Makes out with your girlfriend between holes.