The Sports Hernia Blog

Sun leading Japanese league in rebounding, accidental handjobs

China's Sun Mingming stands at 7 feet, 9 inches tall. 

To put this in perspective, you could fit Allen Iverson and 16 delicious burritos into that arm sock he's wearing.

China’s Sun shining in Japanese basketball league (Yahoo! Sports)

Chad Ford already banned from NBA Draft combine

Below are actual quotes from recent Chud Ford articles (not Penthouse Letters).  Despite his early ejection, don't expect this to be his last report from the combine.

On Syracuse’s Paul Harris:

Harris is an impressive physical specimen.  He has one of the most NBA-ready bodies I've ever seen -- think Corey Maggette.  What's amazing about it is that Harris doesn't lift weights.  Those huge biceps, thick chest and ripped abs are the product of genetics, not weight training.

***

On Johnny Flynn:

Once you get over looking down at Flynn, there isn't a lot to pick apart.  He may be short, but his body isn't frail.  He has thick legs and a thick chest.

***

On James Harden:

First, he seems to have lost 10 to 15 pounds since we saw him last in the NCAA tournament.  His face is thinner, his abs more chiseled.

***

On Blake Griffin:

Griffin looks like the closest thing to Superman the NBA has seen since Dwight Howard, and I really got to see that up close in his workouts.

***

On Hasheem Thabeet's workout:

With stopwatch in hand, Vachet yells go, and Thabeet, all 7 feet and 3 inches of him, starts chugging up the dune.  Sand is flying.  Thabeet is panting.

Breaking: Francesa proclaims Andy Pettitte is a starting pitcher

Joba To The Pen, Big Mikey To The Mental Ward (Tirico Suave)

Hungry, Hungry Hippo!!

Jay-Z, suddenly channeling an actually blind Billy Ray Valentine

LA's die-hard fan base comes out swingin' for pivotal Game 5

This is the first picture of Hef sans silk robe in just over 16 years.

This is not the first picture of Hef with twin blondes just over 16 years old.

This is, however, the first picture of Hef within five feet of two brunettes in his entire 83 years on earth.

Great Wrestling Moments: When Damien went off script

You can see the hate in Damien's eyes, and the genuine fear in the Macho Man's.  Damien was furious.  Damien was enraged.  Damien flew off the script.

It's certainly no coincidence that Damien's storyline took an abrupt turn to a six week observation stay at Bellevue Psychiatric Ward.

Pau Gasol chooses odd time for emotional chili dog feeding

LeBron surges past Favre in sports world national suck-off

Ugh.  Once again, a cyanide spritzer please.  And make it snappy.

Peavy officially declines deal to White Sox, confirms he still wears swimmies

In a related story, scientists discover world's biggest vagina! 

Keep hiding in the vast confines of Petco Park, you predictable asshat.  And while you're at it, choke on a Plinko chip.

Padres ace Peavy turns down trade to White Sox (AP)