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Another big night out for the staff at the New York Post? This was in Friday's paper so we'll give them the benefit of the doubt.
At least they didn't call him Doug Iglesias, but then again, he's apparently no longer human; not sure which is worse.
The online version is of course, fixed. If this doesn't prove we need newspapers to survive, nothing will.
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Mets pitcher Johan Santana seen here showing respect to polarizing Oswald inmate Simon Adebisi shortly before getting into a surprising shoving match with teammate Daniel Murphy. According to reports, the Mets ace lost it after overhearing the young outfielder boasting of an all night drug and alcohol-fuelled rampage through the city with Ryan O'Reily.
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Not since Jumbo Elliot appeared on "Meet The Press" has there been a more significant, worthwhile appearance on live television than when rapper 50 Cent spent a little quality time with ESPN News yesterday.
The Jamaica, Queens native expectedly wowed viewers with ultra-fresh opinions on the likes of A-Rod, Plaxico Burress, sports figures giving money back, where he normally purchases his own steroids, Cousin Yuri, Uncle Mustache, and "gettin' that cheese, yo."
As insightful as the Lil Wayne-Skip Bayless chat? Possibly.
The poignant spot had producers spooging in their khaki's and unclipping cell phones from their fat hips, so don't be surprised to see the emotional rapper crying in Roy Firestone's lap or answering questions on The Budweiser CockSeat in the near future.
Click the image below to see the video:
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Perhaps Donald Fehr has made blunders as MLB union head because he was too occupied with his real love: male crotch.
If this photo is any indicator, he loves to talk about crotch and display disturbing posters of it in his office.
[h/t: Jason from IABTMS]
MLB Players' Union remains in drug denial (NYDN)
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While we're here...
Jeter left with cousin Jeffrey
Matsui left with cousin Balki
Damon left with cousin Itt
Girardi left with my cousin Vinny
Gardner left with cousin Oliver
Swisher left with Cookie Monster's cousin Monster
Joba left with Uncle Elmer
Posada left with this Uncle Jesse
Texiera left with the real Uncle Jesse
Sabathia left with Uncle Buck
Pettitte left with Aunt Debbie
Wang left with Aunt Selma and Aunt Patty
Cano left con el tío Melky
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The lifelong marathon that MLB photo day has become was going to continue once again this afternoon, but thanks to a cheerful cease and desist letter from some affable lawyers at Getty Images, the party is over.
Someone dropped the fucking beer.
We're not sure if it's because we used their images or if it's because we commented on them honestly, but we'll leave the guessing to you.
This big, bad blog was just having too much damn fun. For that alone, we should be ashamed.
Feel free to read through it anyway, nothing like sarcastic captions accompanied by invisible pictures.
And yes, "No Easy Way Out" is now the Hernia anthem for 2009.
Enjoy!
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO AWESOME LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
Randy Johnson hasn't been this happy since he killed that bird with a 99 mph fastball. Kinda sums up MLB photo day in 2009.
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO RAD LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
Is this the dominant, highly fussed about Tim Lincecum or the kid from the Mac commercials? If you can't get a hit off this guy, just put your nuts in your wife's purse.
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO GNARLY LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
Brian Giles, one of few players to wisely opt for oral pleasure during photo day.
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO UNDERSTANDING LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
So this is the guy who squared off against Derek Lee in 2007 and whiffed on 56 consecutive windmill punch-slaps? Makes perfect sense now.
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO HIP LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
If MLB fans know one true fact of life, it's certainly: San Diego + beaches + hot chicks + drunken debauchery + wild Sabertooth arm hair = a brooding David Eckstein.
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO SENSATIONAL LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
Field of Dreams starring Nick Schmidt? Not exactly giving us goosebumps. At least they got the attendance at PETCO Park right
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(IMAGE DELETED THANKS TO MEMORABLE LAWYERS THAT REPRESENT GETTY IMAGES)
Carlos Gomez shortly after hearing that classic Eazy-E line, "She took her panties down and the bitch had a dick!"
Continue reading "MLB photo day, f*ck yeah! And the music stops" »
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Will the suddenly fragile Blake Griffin clinch the award by shrinking to 24" in height and hopping in Jeff Capel's lap?
Will Luke Harangody remove himself from the race and finally exorcise his Cabbage Patch demons by beheading a doll at midcourt against Rutgers tonight?
Will Blake carry Luke around as his good luck doll if Notre Dame doesn't make the big dance?
Will they both finally come forward to reveal that the doll above is in fact their love child, and seconds later, giggle uncontrollably?
And can someone tell us where we can get some of that old school White Sox gear?
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Sir Charles better hope the inmates, particualrly Adebisi, haven't seen this yet.
Barkley pleads guilty in Scottsdale to DUI charges (Yahoo! Sports)
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Really, Fernando, a sore right palm? At 3 a.m.? Any other intimate secrets you'd like to share? Why don't you just hand over the rest of your raunchy diary to the Daily News right now.
Niese, Parnell and Gee shine in Mets intrasquad game (NY Daily News)
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Notable highlight:
"Then this weekend on NBC, Tiger uses the port-o-potty, Jimmy Roberts right outside, I guarantee you that!!!"
Now if only someone could guarantee that Chris Russo would also be waiting for Tiger outside the port-o-potties with a mic in one hand, and his Princess Vespa blowdryer in the other.
Mad Dog Minute (MSNBC)
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