A-nnoyed readers A-ll over A-merica A-re A-bsolutely pissed A-bout A-n A-ll out blitz of A-wful A-Rod headlines from the A-ssociated Press, their local papers and other media A-ffiliates.
So you need not worry people, you A-re not A-lone and you A-re not being A-n A-ggravating A-hole, this is A-trocious.
Please proceed to go A-peshit, but do not A-ssassinate A-Rod's legacy until he's had a chance to A-ssess and A-ddress A-ll reports from the A-ssociated Press. Even if you have evidence that A-Rod's nuts A-re A-bnormal in size and resemble A-corns.
Your best bet right now is to A-mbitiously cover your newspaper in A-1 Sauce and A-ttempt to eat it.
UPDATE: Ronald Blum of the Associated Press has single-handedly just blown the doors off the A-Rod story: