Police say a naked 46-year-old man in Oregon barged into an elderly woman's home and harassed her. The 88-year old woman eventually fought him off by squeezing his ball bag. That naked fella's name?
No, this certainly isn't sports news, but we had to tie it in somehow. This event feels like it was more destined to take place than it was for Jeff Feagles to punt for the Eagles. Or for Mr. Bookman to be a library cop. Or for Rory Sparrow to guard Larry Bird.
Seriously, what else is a guy named Michael Dick supposed to do?