The Sports Hernia Blog

Source: Raiders reportedly finally fire Lane Kiffin

Source: Raiders reportedly finally fire Lane Kiffin (ESPN)

Other source:  No, Davis reportedly has just begun process of firing Kiffin

Source #3:  Actually no, Davis began process of firing Kiffin the moment he hired him

Source #4:  Technically, Davis won't begin process of firing Kiffin until he's airlifted out of bed

Source #5 (Mordor Times):  Why isn't Davis here?

Source #6:  Good question, but he could just as easily be here or here

Source #7:  Um, yeah, where the fuck am I?

Source #8:  Better question #7, who the fuck is Lane Kiffin?

Source #9:  How did I get stuck in here again? Fuuuuuck!

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Past 'Source' Reports:

Source: Walsh under no pressure to move Randolph to Memphis

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!

Crazed heroic pirate Jeff Reed Mitch Berger celebrates the Steelers victory over the Ravens in OT.

Bedazzled Undertaker invades Dancing With the Stars

Coming out to the Undertaker's music mashed with an incredibly confusing techno beat, Warren Sapp pays homage to Blade and performs a dramatic twist that somehow manages to make him look like he weighs 175lbs.

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Doing his best impersonation of Hungry Hippo, a deceitful Sapp proudly carries on with his Bushwackers dance, only to punch his partner Kym directly in the face just seconds later.

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Still flattened from the unexpected blow to the face, an eager Sapp takes full advantage of his partner opponent and goes airborne for a perfectly executed King Kong Bundy splash, sending the packed house into an understandable raging frenzy.

Spanish Jason named Chip lets Rams coach have it

You sure told him you sick bastard.  It's a shame he's hiding behind a disguise though, we always like to know the identity of the fantasizing dork behind every mask.

In case you're wondering what the hell is going on, here's the official picture description from the AP:

"Football fans have a little fun at the expense of St. Louis Rams head coach Scott Linehan during the fourth quarter of an NFL football game against the Buffalo Bills in St. Louis. The winless Rams fired coach Scott Linehan on Monday Sept. 29, 2008, the day after a fourth straight lopsided loss to start the season."

Right, if by "a little fun" you mean playing a disturbing game of Pictionary or Charades, we totally get it.

Long live 'Chip', who's already being recruited by the Undergods of the Raiders fanbase, and his amused cohort who brandishes a blood-dripping cartoon axe.

Pardon me sir, but you and your stupid camera suck

Nothing to see here folks, keep moving.

The Jim Mora song that will change your life

Quite possibly the greatest song ever made.  The Neptunes should be taking notes on how to mix.

Hot Dog Launchers... They're Phaaaantastic!

Every once in a blue moon something amazing happens in sports.  Take the time, for example, when Yinka Dare (R.I.P.) made his first assist.  Or those rare moments when Ricky Henderson referred to himself in the first person.

Or those times when members of The Sports Hernia come across a story that they thought they wrote, only to find out that no, it is a REAL story. 

Well, we saw the headline for this gem and collectively did more double-takes than a bunch of nerds in an 80s movie after a hot babe walks by. 

Bomb squad blows up hot dogs

"The bomb squad detonated the packages. The Phillies said the hot dogs were heavily wrapped in white packaging and duct tape so they could be fired from the Phanatic's hot-dog launcher."

This wildly entertaining, yet dangerous fan-fueled device reminds us of another souvenir-launching mishap.

You need a hot dog!

We'll miss you, Matt

An endless source of material and entertainment for us and many other sites, is gone today.  No more Matt Millen in Detroit. 

In honor of this incredibly stupid man, we take an emotional look back:

2000 (pre-Millen) - Lions manage a record of 9-7 with two different head coaches that season, Gary Moeller and Bobby Ross.  Respectable.  Certainly signs of life, especially under the circumstances.

2001 - Millen arrives and wastes no time taking making improvements and waving his magic wand, with the Lions sneaking into last place at a respectable 2-14.  Millen farts, fans can smell it.

2002 - Year two with Millen effortlessly pulling the strings, the Lions bring the pain once again, finishing at 3-13.  Millen again farts.  Hopeful fans show up to the final few games with barf bags filled to the brim and promptly smash them into their own faces.

2003 - Lions flirt with destiny and finish 5-11, just a mere four games from being over .500.  Needless to say, football is back in Detroit.  Fans subtly tell ownership to fire Millen by breaking into the stadium and mowing "FIRE THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE NOW" into the field.

2004 - Clearly on the fast path to hoisting the Lombardi Trophy, Detroit smashes their record from the season before, going 6-10 and continuing their impossible dream as the new darlings of the NFL.  In a slightly disgruntled state, the entire stadium, staff and all, leave a blowout loss to Bengals and get shuttled to Millen's house for a vindicating synchronized dump on his front lawn.

Joe Sports Fan is in the building

Yup, Joe Sports Fan is in the building and good ol' JR can't freakin' believe it.

JSF is one of our favorite sports blogs and starting today and each Wednesday going forward, we'll be highlighting a post from the same dudes who've been kind enough to bring us the immeasurable joy of NegBurns as well as the heroic Worthless Card Collection.  Most, if not all of you are already regulars over there, but if you're not, you should be.  You'll also be able to find some Hernia on JSF, as they'll be running a similar feature.

As an emotional Millhouse once said, "So this is what it feels like... when doves cry."

Today's post is a great find as we've learned Bears running back Kevin Jones has somehow miraculously morphed into a mediocre insurance salesman, complete with insincere smile.  Our favorite 'glitch' they've added in the spirit of the Jones mistake, is the one that took place in Richie Incognito's profile. 

Hilarious.  Enjoy...

Don't Be A Victim Of MFI  (Joe Sports Fan)

Don't you see Crissy, those are ladies glasses

Nice choice there, madam.  Those badboys suddenly make Liberace a raging, keg tossing badass and Sally Jesse Raphael fashionably understated.  We definitely don't need to ask to figure out they're from the Gloria Vanderbilt collection.

The more we look at this old lady Cris Carter here, the more we realize he looks like some flamboyant, dismissive cartoon bird with the occasional wisecrack and an extremely high opinion of himself.

Picture of Crissy enlarged after the jump...