The intention of this commercial of course comes with good thoughts in mind, as it is for a charity, but when we hear this "song" while listening to Mike & the Mad Dog or other WFAN programming, it makes us want to turn our balls into a shooting range. It makes us want to tie our heels to a speeding Corvette while it zig-zags through a busy, not-up-to-code construction site. It makes us want to do the Nestea Plunge into a pool of starving sharks with 50 pounds of choice steak dangling from our ankles.
If we were ever fortunate enough to meet the assclown who sings in the background seemingly every five minutes like some sort of twisted cartoon music teacher, we'd suplex him into a pile of defective Casio keyboards.
Please, for the sake of the sanity of your god damn listeners, end this torture.