The Sports Hernia Blog

Paul Pierce arrives to arena directly from uneventful slumber party

Music currently playing on a continuous loop inside Manny's head

Past Manny music

Pau Gasol still trapped in a scene from The Deer Hunter

As scenes from The Deer Hunter play on a continuous reel inside Pau Gasol's delicate head, lets take a look at his impressive postseason stats.

• Points: 19.9
• Rebounds: 8.5
• Assists: 4.4
• 'Nam Flashbacks:  12.4

ESPN's commenting section cotinues to humble comedic souls

See, he said 'Spurs fans are trying to sleep' because it was of course bed time after the game, but they're having crazy nightmares because Kobe was so scary in the 2nd half!  What's really silly is, if they're having nightmares, that means they're already sleepin' anyway, they're not trying to do anything! 

But maybe this is saying that 'KB24' is a new type of jet, and while the Spurs fans are trying to sleep just like the players - who were forced to sleep on their jet the night before - they can't because the jet's engines are scary and loud.  Damn, "Show Time Again," you just blew my mind again!

Now that's some good stuff!

Past commenting gems:

3/5/08 - New Mexico's 'hungry wolves' zing
2/15/08 - Fist fights, love fest zing
1/23/08 - Marbury Tin-man zing
1/11/08 - Kobe charged zing
12/8/07 - Cowboys 'Cowgirls' zing
11/12/07 - Vince Carter zing
8/23/07 - Orioles football zing

Joba Chamberlain continues to disgrace the game with his wild celebration antics

Joba Chamerblain, looking trim and somehow donning a Red Sox uniform, takes flight and goes absolutely ape after closing it out against the Royals last night.

(Note: For the overly defensive Boston fans, this picture IS from last night's game)

NBA draft lottery offers usual hijinx

The suspicious Martin Shannon, Ernst & Young's version of Clarence Beeks, arrives with the team cards in official lottery result order.  Yes, trust just went out the window.

The presence of Beeks causes an understandable wave of tension and uneasiness throughout the panel of team representatives, particularly Minnesota's Fred Hoiberg.  Jay-Z however, appears to be perfectly relaxed. 

Tension is quickly averted following the reliable, wacky antics of Mike Dunleavy and Bucks GM John Hammond.

Tim Duncan nip slip drawing little buzz or fanfare

Mad Dog Russo kinda thinks the Yanks might be done

No one has ever come anywhere close to being this excited about sitting down somewhere unless they were getting a bonus lap dance at 3am. 

Is he constantly stuck in one of those virtual reality games?  Is a puppeteer controlling his outrageous hands?

Whatever it is, the Mad Dog is slowly leaning towards putting a fork in the Yankees season.  Slowly.

Mad Dog Minute: Yankees Are Done!  (NBC Sports)

Report: Tyson has been eating way too many children

Glad to see Iron Mike came prepared with the tissue just in case the girl ran off and he ended up by himself.

Mike Tyson -- Heavyweight  (TMZ)

The Spurs would like to introduce you to Larry, Darryl and their other brother Darryl

If the NBA playoffs continue to gift wrap them like this, we're in for a treat.  Does anyone know what these guys are holding?  Seriously, we don't know what they're holding and we'd like to know.

Is this the Spurs purposely unrecognized booster band?  Quite honestly they all look like they specialize in something uniquely creepy, we're just not sure what that is yet.  The innocent Hornets fan in front of them will learn sooner than we will.

The one on the left is wearing a Tony Parker jersey over his button down shirt as if this is something we should assume, like only misguided assholes wear button downs without their favorite jersey over it.  He also seems to think that his reverse mohawk mullet is not embarrassing.

The guy in the center is clearly plotting, and whatever it is, we concur, we're not about to be at odds with Morton Downey Jr.'s unstable superfan brother.

The guy on the right is gettin' sweet on the Hornets chick in front of him, so much so that he's about to tear off his Tim Duncan road jersey to reveal Tim Duncan's home jersey; he's that crazy.