It's less than twenty-four hours until the NCAA Tournament begins which means you're likely putting the finishing touches on your fifth bracket, revising your fourth bracket, or pleasuring yourself to all of your brackets. Regardless of what anyone is doing, the one thing most of us have in common is all that office chat we've been subjected to the past few days regarding everyone's bracket and everyone's expert 'strategery'.
Much like the days leading up to the Super Bowl, this can be a somewhat painful experience. So while you're anxiously awaiting the first games to begin, here's a look at what you've likely heard this week and what you'll likely continue to hear as the tournament plays out over the next few weeks.
"I think Beasley is this year's Kevin Durant." -- Jacob Tudor, IT
"This tournament will not be the same without Bob Knight." -- Gus Gebhard, Foreman
"I have 'One Shining Moment' on my iPod." -- Hadley Willard, P.R. coordinator
"You'd be crazy not to take at least two 10 seeds upsetting two 7 seeds." -- Kevin Reilly, Marketing
"I'm not discussing any of my picks until the bracket submission deadline has passed." -- Ronald Miller, Strategy
"I'm positive Duke doesn't have the horses this year, there's just far too much parity. Plus, that rape case." -- Scott Jacobs, Analytics
"Who's suddenly going to have a ton of 'appointments' on Thursday and Friday afternoon?" -- Todd Brewfeller, Sales
"I don't know when Roy Williams will finally win one, but I know it won't be this year." -- Bart Vandalay, Latex Sales & Manufacturing
"Are we talking about the men's or women's tourney?" -- Glenda Dean, shipping
"Oral Roberts? Hey, I'm not even gonna go there." -- Ira Cleavage, Operations
"... So I said 'Winthrop, wasn't he in Trading Places?!' (laughs) Oh man, Jefferson on 34 loved that one..." -- Bill Standerson, Head of Sales
"How many John Thompsons are there anyway?" -- Pam Durling, Switchboard
"I bet Duke will have all those Cameron Crazies following them. They do those funny chants." -- Becky Specht, Accounts Payable
"That Pitino sure has let Kentucky fall." -- Dan Quayle, Systems Management
"George Mason and Gonzaga are my sleepers." -- Gary Nunez, Accounting
"Did you know my sorority sister hooked up with Steve Blake at Maryland? He is nice." -- Tara Buckstein, Omega Mu '01
"Florida will repeat." -- Beano Cook, Guy Who Babbles and Stuff
"I'm pulling for John Calpari and Memphis. His living room looked gorgeous on Sunday during the selections." -- Debbie Dunkledge, Human Resources
"I don't think I like that Gus Johnson announcer. He gets too into it. I just wish Dick Vitale could do every game." -- Sally Dipshit, Accounts Receivable
"Tyler Hansbrough will be the tournament MVP." -- Some whore at Brother Jimmy's
"Wait, Jim Calhoun, he had a cameo on The Brotherhood, right?"
-- Michael Caffey, Special Assignments
"I would give up two week's pay to draw a penis on Billy Packer's dome."
-- The Sports Hernia staff