If Jets Nation actually exists, here's a list of 11 things for them to do from 1-4pm this Sunday while watching the federal pound-me-in-the-ass beating courtesy of the Patriots.
We did a list of 11 because Rick Mirer (3) + Browning Nagle (8) = 11, obviously. Not that you didn't already assume that.
- Replace the cans on your prized drinking helmet with a keg, it's going to be a long afternoon.
- Share some of that beer with your mustache, it has feelings too.
- Try to reverse the team's fortune by wearing a jersey of a Jets player that doesn't SUCK.
- Talk to yourself about the glory days of Ken O'Brien and Freeman McNeil.
- Pay for ESPN insider to read in-depth analysis from Todd McShay and Mel Kiper on how the Jets will butcher their #1 pick (2 spots after the Patriots select).
- Conduct a survey among local reporters and ask how far off Pennington was when he said they were "the luckiest people on earth."
- Re-enact the Nick Mangold/D'Bricksaw Ferguson summer crap-off at your girlfriend's apartment.
- Find something else to do with your life other than scream "J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!" in the face of the pizza delivery guy.
- Try regular cotton candy instead of that disgusting chest hair cotton candy you insist on devouring.
- Embrace those New Englanders and start the 18th and highly relevant, "Yankees suck" chant.
- Fight the person next you, oh wait...