If you have your mind set on being a sports figure this Halloween, but don't want to be one of the 50,000 people doing the Michael-Vick-with-an-injured-dog costume, the SportsHernia offers these ideas with a list of what you will need to pull them off...
Stephen A. Smith
- Oversized suit with large shoulderpads
- Coffee cup stain around mouth
- Megaphone
Dikembe Mutumbo
- 2 feet of bratwurst
- Black electrical tape
- Oversized cookies
Mitch Albom
- Wooden staff for a 4ft person
- Hair feet shoes
- A cloak
- Gelfling ears
Marv Albert
- Bra
- Panties
- Suit
- Road kill wig
Craig Sager
- Purple suit
- 2 car batteries
- Enough Christmas lights for 50 foot tree
- Inappropriate boner
Ken Rosenthal
- Mini squirrel suit
- Acorns
Joe Torre
- Rubber nose with parking space sized nostrils
- Nose picking wand
- Sleeping pills
- Lots of eye black
Kurt Rambis (or Lewis from "Revenge of the Nerds")
- Taped horn rim glasses
- Bad hair
- Gangly limbs
Jerry Colangelo/Bud Selig
- Beak
- Wings
- Angry Scowl
A.C. Green
- Soul-Glo
- Full body condom
- Laker jersey pulled over body condom
Dick Stockton
- Suit
- Smoke machine with tube to flow smoke into hair
- Tales from the Crypt cape
A-Rod
- Briefcase of money
- Purple lipstick
- Fake tail to put between legs
- Zero class
- Muscular transvestite to act as wife
- Frosted tips
Chris Berman
- Hideous jacket
- Hideous tie
- Fat suit
- Bald cap
- 6 strings of hair to fold over bald cap
- Spray can of grease to douse yourself with throughout night
Bill Parcells
- Fat suit
- Piss yellow hair dye
- Mike Francesa to sniff your butt wherever you go
- Groceries
Frederic Weis
- Tape
- Tea bag
- Ed Tapscott's resume stapled to chest
