(LOS ANGELES, CA) -- World-famous soccer star David Beckham and his racquet ball chested wife have finally touched down in America. Here are a few steps L.A. is taking in preparation for the Beckham's:
- Celeb gossip sites beefing up servers for expected deluge of nip and vag-slip pics of Posh taken by the paparazzi.
- LA pornstars saluting Becks by styling their pubes in patented Beckham 'faux-hawk'.
- Instead of getting angular haircuts to honor Posh, women across L.A. will just chop off part of their faces.
- Galaxy team frantically learning how to play soccer.
- Tanning salons to add new Posh-inspired "Scorched on Mars" setting to tanning beds.
- ESPN to actually provide highlights of Galaxy games (in courtroom style sketches).
- Galaxy fan base organizing "Posh Boob Corner" where fans will strap 2 oranges to their chest in honor of her Poshness.
- Along with the SAP option on TV, Galaxy games will be broadcast in special Beckham Elf-Voice Setting.
- With rumors swirling of close pal Tom Cruise buying the Galaxy, expect the 4'7 Cruise to insert himself into the line-up as cornerback/freak.