(NEW YORK, NY) -- The New York Mets have vowed to become the first team ever to wear a different uniform for every game in the 2007 season, amassing what will be an astounding total of 162 different uniforms for the year. Amazingly, the Mets will only need to add 9 more uniforms to accomplish the feat.
"We gonna go for it" said a hopefully drunk Mets GM Omar Minaya, while sporting a mind-boggling poofy black Mets jacket with a gigantic royal blue New York skyline, neon orange baseballs, and 'NY's shooting over the shoulders. "We were so close last year, but this is the year we're gonna get it done."
The Mets, always seeking new ways to alienate their loyal fanbase, had just introduced yet another spring training uniform (a slight variation from the "traffic cone/Shasta" orange uniforms from last year) when Minaya and COO Jeff Wilpon got a call from trusted partner Horrible Design Inc. The team brainstormed for a few hours before coming up with the idea of taking a sport steeped in tradition and taking a dump on it by wearing 162 different uniforms.
In addition to their already disgusting black uniforms, the Mets will add teal and purple feathers to their home uniforms and add racing stripes, with what appear to be lightening bolts to their away uniforms. The front office is also appealing to MLB offices for approval on their personalized uniforms, which will have a giant portrait of the players face on the back.
The Mets will also kick it up a notch in the helmet department, going from the airbrushed color-fading Tour de France helmets to a new "Siren helmet" that will literally have a siren on top, which will automatically go off whenever a player crosses home plate.
Unfortunately, several fans approached in the Mets Clubhouse store with the news were unable to comment due to the throw-up in their mouths.