84 – Number of bridge jumpers in San Francisco after watching Jerry Rice get served by Drew Lachey on national television.
29 – Number of interns killed by Chris Berman’s gas.
17 – Number of times Joe Thiesman lauded a quarterback profusely for how much he's “grown” only to have him throw a horrible interception on the next snap.
68 – Number of days until Barry Zito blows his arm out.
16,000,000 – Average number of SAP buttons utilized during any game with Joe Buck involved.
1,163 – Combined number of asses kissed by Ahmad Rashad, Stuart Scott and Duke Vitale.
6 – Number of NBA players that gave a shit this year.
3 – Combined number of vowels in the names of the four current heavyweight belt holders.
473 – Number of Bill Simmons columns dedicated to Doc Rivers.
0 – Number of people that give a shit about Doc Rivers.
17 – Number of eyebrow hairs left on Mike Miller.
$478,934,203.30 – Amount of money spent on free agents by the Cubs and Red Sox.
113 – Number of times Scott Boras smiled like the devil after crushing someone's balls during negotiations.
7 – Number of times Barbaro was kicked out of the Playboy Mansion.
4 – Combined number of minutes Terrell Owens wasn’t on ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN News and ESPN “The Douche”.
38 – Number of flamingos mistaken for Randy Johnson.
8 – Number of Bengals that signed with Death Row Records.
14 – Barry Bonds new cap size.
49,890,786 – Number of Italian-Americans who suddenly became soccer experts this summer.