With Jalen Rose reportedly having reached an agreement with the Phoenix Suns on Friday night, the NBA went ahead and named him to the 2007 Western Conference All-Star team, fittingly taking place in Las Vegas where things are sure to be "crackin" enough for the legendary booty-hound. The Hernia sleuth closest to the story cited the revival of the "left-for-dead Tim Thomas" as the springboard for this unprecedented early selection.
"We took a look at the tapes," said an anonymous league drone. "And we were so wowed by what Tim Thomas was able to do in Phoenix last year that we couldn't hold off on making the selection. I mean, the Bulls PAID Tim Thomas to sit at home and then he went to the Suns and became an absolute freak. We figure it's a slam dunk that someone like Jalen will have an All-Star year. He deserves this."